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So what's all this rubbish about the Garden Shed. Ah well that's a long runing joke. You see I'm known by some of my more villainous mates as 'Two Sheds Rookard' on account of the fact that I have two garden sheds. NO I don't think it's very funny either. But you have to understand that to any man. His Shed is a special place. And I have two ! All of which has nothing what-so-ever to do with this page, which is all about humour. So to find my humble offerings either scroll down or click the green enter buttons below for the various sub menus for my stories.
...Click here for the Saga of the crafty Lord Fitlow
...Click here for some some very dodgy family history
...Click here for Tales from that boozers paradise - The Travellers Rest
...Click here for some of my weekly columns on my twisted view of life .






SOME VERY DODGY HISTORY.
It's not often your average working hack journalist can turn their hand to fiction or humour. But come the Christmas holidays or the annual silly season - that period during high summer when every body goes on holiday and their is dam all news around. Then thats when you get the request. Anything to fill the local rag up with. So Rookard they cry - have you got anything. Indeed I have. What follows are a few examples of that desperate plea. To read each story - just hit the button on the right hand side and enjoy....

After revealing the stories of these ancestors, my family disowned me - I wonder why ?

DODGY HISTORY - TREAD BOLDLY ROMAN ROOKARD
DODGY HISTORY - WHO REALLY BURT ALFRED'S CAKES
DODGY HISTORY - PILGRIM ROOKARD
DODGY HISTORY - THAMES BARGE ROOKARD


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TALES FROM THE TRAVELLERS REST.
A collection of rather tall stories based around the regulars who gather in -what in their view - is the best pub in town.

MEET THE REGULARS
THE TRAINEE VILLAGE IDIOT
THE VIKING FUNEREAL
THE GHOST DOG
GOLD UNDER THE CAR PARK
THE NEW ROLLS ROYCE
THE LOST PUB OUTING
PICKLED CARROTS
LANDLORD JACKS GIRLFRIEND
THE VISIT
BLOODY QUIZ NIGHT
TWITCHERS
DISAPPEARING PIANOS
LEAP DAY AND ALL THAT
CHARLIE MARK TWO
TEST PAGE TWO
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ROOKARDS WORLD.
A collection of my weekly local newspaper columns. Presenting
a sideways view of my life and times - just pure bloody ego !!
EVERY BOYS SECRET DREAM
WAITING FOR A BUS
YOU CAN'T DO THAT HERE
THERE'S ALWAYS ONE
DON'T UPSET THE NATIVES
IAN'S TRAIN JOURNEY
URBAN MYTHS
YE OLDE ROOKARD
TALLY HO !
GENETIC SPROUTS
WATER FEATURE
LIBRARY SHOCK
DOOR STEP TROUBLES
TOYS FOR THE BOYS
OPEN TOP BUS RIDE
GONE FISHING
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